The Conversion Papers

The Conversion Papers: Comfort & energy conservation (C.E.C.), or Homerology

It all started with HENRY. We were out walking in a cornfield when we saw what looked like a giant floating head. It was a giant floating head. HENRY'S head to be exact. And behind that head was Henry's body--you see he's got rockets in his feet. And a special space converter which allows him to travel great distances at great speeds and his head is so perfectly designed and shaped that he can go through our atmosphere without feeling a thing. He then pulled us up into his head. Then the little HENRY'S inside the big henry ran at us with twizzlers--we opened our mouth and swallowed their weapons. Then the real HENRY, a supersamrt alien, told us that we were the strongest beings he had met. So I took advantage of the situation and demanded to be put back on earth so we could watch the Simpsons. He then said you're strong but stupid--isn't that always the case.

He explained that we we took a chance of missing the Simpsons by walking. It turns out that HENRY is the ruler of his world.

He let us take a break to watch the Simpsonís and saw that we laughed at the one called Homer. He became insulted by our laughter, saying that Homer is smarter then anyone could possibly imagine--that is how I conquered my planet. He then explained to us the theory of Homerology. This is how he explained it: -Did you ever notice that the people standing still in dodge ball never get the ball thrown at them, and the ones standing there in tag never get tagged? Well think of it this way: While other countries are having war you stand there unnoticed conserving you're energy, then when your enemies are weak you use that energy you saved to defeat your foes. Now you must be comfortable to maximize your energy conservation rate--you're much more efficient if you're comfortable!