Note: This page has been altered.  To see the (near-) original, click here.

      *ADDENDUM* The fame of "The Wildebeest Incident" has grown to (I think) truly astounding proportions: On October 7th, 2003, as I was teaching a lab, I loaded up "The Wildebeest Incident" just for fun.  Before long, I had a student looking over my shoulder, asking, "Is this your page?! -I'd heard about 'The Wildebeest Incident at UAF'---but people told me I'd have to look it up on the web.  I was confused--as there aren't many wildebeest in Interior Alaska." This just blew my mind.  The fame of "The Wildebeest Incident" spreads. . . .

   Hello, one and all, to the "official" website--dealing with "The Wildebeest Incident."


   The Wildebeest Incident was something that happened about 27 (now 28) (now 29) years (!!) ago--and it's "longevity" is just shy of absolutely astounding.


   Okay, here--officially, from a first-hand witness--is what happened.  My brothers and I were watching a special on wildebeest.  They talked about the trials, the tribulations, and the triumphs of the surprisingly interesting critter-dude, the wildebeest.  I learned that they migrate, for instance--and that this particular herd faced a rather serious threat from this ENORMOUS crocodile--who ate an entire wildebeest a month.  :O


   Then the event which would seemingly affect our lives forever happened: my younger brother (at the tender age of 7, or so--I feel I should mention that part), filled with the bubbling energy, creativity, and inevitable rebellion of youth, got on his knees in front of the TV set, mimed placing his penis forward, and screamed, "Suck it, wildebeest! Suck it! SUCK IT!!


   What made this event so interesting--aside from the obvious--was that, unbeknowst to my younger brother, our father was in the room.  :O Although somewhat amused, he was less than pleased.


   Nor did the story of The Wildebeest Incident end there.  Almost twenty years later, with my more than prodigous memory (Ahem.  *John rubbing his collar with his knuckles*.), I brought up the matter at my Uncle Ron's.  Well, that was all the catalyst needed (-although "catalyst" may not be entirely the right word, as I, inevitably, found myself changed by the "resurgence"--for lack of a better word to call it--as well) to bring about a "Wildebeest Incident Revival." Before too long, we found ourselves in the Pittsburgh Museum of Natural History, with my uncle in front of the wildebeest head, soon issuing a (quiet, yet remarkably emphatic), "Suck it, wildebeest! Suck it! SUCK IT!!"


   Then, a few years later, I had the entire graduate physics department at SUNY-Binghamton periodically reenacting The Wildebeest Incident.  Of course, this became problematical when "The Lion King" was released.  "Sire! The wildebeest are stampeding!" -It never ceases to amaze me at just how difficult it is to get kicked out of a movie theatre. . . .


   Also at SUNY, a conversation which I'm not going to fully admit took place:

Professor: "Ooh John Stya', he very good student.  -But he very rude my class.  He say, 'Suck it, wildebeest.  Suck it, suck it.'"

Head of department: "John, is this true?"

   I gave him a slightly confused look, and said, "He's not saying it right.  -It's: Suck it, wildebeest! Suck it! SUCK IT!! -And he's not doing the motions."


   It never ceases to amaze me at just how difficult it is to get kicked out of graduate school.


   Nor is this the end of the story.  About 27 years later (!!), I was opening my mail during a lab I was teaching, and was thus able to share something with my students which amused them to no end.  :) It was a pictorial representation of that act of so long ago.  And here, without further ado, IS--THE WILDEBEEST INCIDENT!

   After the original "Wildebeest.html" came out, there were some requested changes:

"I do have a few problems with the story. I'd prefer if you didn't publish my name on the internet in connection with this story. Just say it was your younger brother. It doesn't matter what my name was/is."

"Also, the story itself is not quite as I remember it. I don't remember being on my knees, for instance. Maybe I was, but I was a kid, and I seem to remember the TV being on a stand or something. I could have stood, and I think I did. Whatever, it's not that important either way. You also say that I "screamed," "Suck it, wildebeest. Suck it. Suck it!" It was emphatic, but not really a scream; it was more of a forceful command."

(He's right, you know--the TV was on a stand (although I do remember him being on his knees. . . .)--and he didn't scream---just stated the aforementioned phrase . . . rather emphatically.  :) )

The only things I really want changed are removing my name, and especially. . . .

   And he was later (02/12/02, Tuesday), heard to say, "I'm an MCSE--and if you don't like it, you can kiss my *ss." :)